THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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