So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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