Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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