Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
