my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
