Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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