Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
