He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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