I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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