Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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