Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
