i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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