imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
