so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
