We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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