I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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