Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I need mimosas to revive my soul