i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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