Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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