i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
