i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
