Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
