I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
