my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
