Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
