I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
