I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
