This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
