Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
