He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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