I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
