I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
