So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
