Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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