After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
