I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
