I wish I only lived at night.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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