So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
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I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
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I FOUND THE LEGS
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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