i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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