U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
