I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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