i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
