where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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