they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
