I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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