I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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