toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
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