so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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