Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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