How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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