we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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