not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Duck Duck Cougar?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
