I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
