dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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