good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
