How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize