Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize