Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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