im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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