i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
