i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
