the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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